Negotiating Skill Tips
Always Create A Win/Win

Negotiating skill tips and techniques can make all the difference to creating a win/win scenario.

You need to ask your boss for a salary increase; you want to convince a son or daughter to complete a chore they may not wish to do; or you are representing your company in sensitive talks concerning a strategic alliance with another firm.

The stakes may be different in each case, but the common thread running through them is the need for confidence in your negotiating skill.

Negotiating is an activity that all managers engage in to some degree, perhaps dozens of times every day.

Typically, negotiating skill training takes place informally: on the telephone, at a quickly called meeting, or during an impromptu conversation with someone in the hallway. Sometimes negotiation can take place abruptly, when you are least prepared, and be concluded in a matter of seconds.

Regardless of the form negotiation takes, it is very important to have a well-developed negotiating skill set in order to run your business successfully. Even if you feel you already have a talent for negotiating, there are always ways to develop and continuously improve your negotiation skills.

To develop these skills and use them effectively, you must know:

• what negotiation means and the various forms it can take
  
• that negotiating, in the fullest sense, means forging long-term relationships
  
• the role that the individual personalities play in negotiating
  
• that you must take a variety of approaches to negotiation, since no single set of principles will suffice in all circumstances

What negotiation means. Most people, when they think of negotiation, have in mind those rare occasions when people sit at a table and hold intense discussions in some formal way. The major difference between this type of negotiation as compared to other types is the need for planning. Just like in any formal process, negotiation planning is a much more structured process. In these situations, it is important to:

• develop an agenda for use in guiding the meeting
• define issues, alternatives, and what's in it for them/us
• have available an alternate type of contract if an impasse is reached
• have knowledge of the party you are negotiating with

It is important to note that this type of negotiation is often the exception, not the rule. Most negotiations you will participate in will involve day-to-day operations of your business and will focus more on building long-term relationships than on making a deal.

To increase your negotiation skills, you need to increase your awareness of what you are doing, and learn to use both your intellect as well as your intuition during the entire process.

The best way to approach negotiation is to be wisely cooperative. That is, look for areas of agreement that can benefit both sides. Of course, it is important to protect your own interests in such a way that you feel satisfied with the final outcome.

Negotiating and long-term relationships. Good negotiators are the people who understand how to build key relationships, how to identify what people need, how to give them what they need and how to get what they want in return - all in a way that seems effortless.

As a manager, try to refrain from viewing negotiating skill training as a competitive endeavor in which you have to make a killing in order to emerge the "winner."

Indeed, negotiation is best viewed as a stepping stone to forming relationships - with others in their own company, and with customers, suppliers and others - that have long-term consequences for your company.

In this sense, negotiating skill training never really ends. One piece of negotiation is often the beginning of the next phase of negotiation.

Negotiating and individual personalities. Broadly speaking, there are two personality types among managers, and the characteristics of these types can affect the way they negotiate.

Autocratic managers typically hold the view that they are going to get what they want when they interact with subordinates, because their inherent authority precludes the need to negotiate. These managers do not realize that, in the process of handing out orders, they are engaged in a kind of one-sided negotiation that can antagonize others, with the result that the tasks they wish to see completed may be carried out improperly or not at all.

This type of manager must learn to be more collaborative. Autocratic managers have a tendency to miss seeing the big picture. When these types of managers fail to negotiate effectively, the results of their efforts often suffer.

While autocratic types may believe they are skilled negotiators, they often are not because they lack the ability to listen and to empathize.

The second personality type is the accommodating manager. These folks are more concerned with what others want than with their own needs.

In order to avoid conflict, they tend to forget that they possess negotiating skill knowledge and do not negotiate at all. They often end up overriding their own interests.

Since negotiation often implies conflict (something these types of managers avoid at all costs), it is critical for them to take responsibility for forcing a certain amount of compromise. This is the only way they will be able to lead others effectively.

If after becoming aware of your personal strengths and weaknesses as a manager, you find that you do not feel comfortable negotiating in certain circumstances, it is probably best for you to have someone else negotiate on your behalf.

Negotiation and variety. It is critical to understand that negotiating skill cannot be learned by following a pre-packaged set of principles and applying them to all situations. That might work if everyone could be counted on to behave rationally and predictably, but they can't because people are often emotional and irrational.

To negotiate well, you must be prepared to use a variety of approaches.

The good news is that like anything else, negotiating skill training gets easier as you do it. With practice, you will develop your own personal style and become comfortable with your own limits.

As in so many other things in life, experience is the best teacher when it comes to effective negotiations.

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