How to Deal with Naysayers to Your Goals

Jump To:  Sharing Goals with People Too Close to Home | Why People React Negatively to Your Goals | How to Deal with NaySayers: 3 Simple Action Steps | Script Bank: What to Say to Naysayers | Quick Reflection: Who Earns the Right to Hear Your Goals? | Success Lesson: Protecting Your Energy from Vitality Sappers | Download eBook

Sharing Goals with People Too Close to Home

Some of the toughest resistance you’ll face won’t come from strangers online. It will come from the people closest to you - those who know your history, remember your past failures, and may feel threatened by your desire to grow.

You may hear things like:

• “Are you sure you can handle that?”
• “Most small businesses fail. Why risk it?”
• “You’re already so busy. When would you have time for that?”

On the surface, these questions might sound reasonable. But if you’re not careful, they can quietly pull you away from your goals. Learning how to deal with naysayers - especially when they’re friends, family, or coworkers - is a critical self-leadership skill.

Why People React Negatively to Your Goals

Before you can effectively deal with naysayers, it helps to understand what’s really going on beneath their words.

Their Fear, Not Yours

Often, negative reactions to your goals say more about the other person than they do about you. Your ambition can:

• Remind them of dreams they gave up on
• Expose their own lack of confidence or low self-esteem
• Trigger fear that your growth will change the relationship

It’s easier for them to pull you back to where they are than to face their own discomfort. Dealing with negative people and unsupportive friends or family starts with recognizing that their fear doesn’t have to become your fear.

When “Concern” Is Really Control

Some people genuinely care about you and want to protect you from pain. Others use “concern” as a way to stay in control or avoid feeling left behind.

When someone questions your goals, ask yourself:

• Are they offering thoughtful, specific feedback that helps me improve my plan?
• Or are they only pointing out what might go wrong, without offering solutions or support?

You want to listen to wise counsel. You do not have to accept criticism that comes from a place of insecurity, envy, or control.

How to Deal with Naysayers – 3 Simple Action Steps

You can’t control what naysayers say, but you can control how you respond. Use this simple three-step action plan whenever someone doubts your goals.

Step 1 – Pause and Assess the Comment

Your first job is not to defend yourself. It’s to stay calm and assess.

Ask yourself:

• “Is there any helpful truth in this comment?”
• “Is this person experienced or trustworthy in this area?”
• “Does this feedback help me strengthen my action plan, or just tear it down?”

If there’s genuine wisdom you can use, take it. If not, you can politely thank them and move on. The key is not to let a knee-jerk reaction from someone else derail your long-term vision.

Step 2 – Clarify the Intent with One Question

Next, invite the other person to own their intentions. This is one of the most powerful ways to deal with naysayers and protect your goals from negative people.

Calmly ask one of these questions:

• What is the purpose of your comment?”
• “By telling me that, what are you trying to accomplish?”
• “Are you telling me this to support my efforts? If so, how?”

These questions do three things:

1. They signal that you take your goals seriously.
2. They force the other person to reflect on whether they’re being helpful or hurtful.
3. They shift the dynamic from you defending your dream to them explaining their motives.

Sometimes, this will lead to a more honest, supportive conversation. Other times, it will reveal that you’re dealing with a naysayer who is not invested in your success. Either way, you gain clarity.

Step 3 – Protect Your Boundaries and Move On

Once you’ve assessed the comment and clarified the intent, it’s time to set boundaries.

If the person is genuinely supportive, you might say:

• “Thank you. That gives me something to think about as I refine my plan.”

If they are simply negative or unsupportive, you can respond more firmly:

• “I appreciate your perspective, but I’ve decided this is important to me and I’m going to move forward.”

Then change the subject or end the conversation. You’re not required to keep explaining, justifying, or shrinking your goals to make someone else comfortable.

Dealing with naysayers to your goals is not about fighting or convincing them. It’s about protecting your energy, staying focused, and continuing to take action on what matters most to you.

Example Scenario – A Friend Doubts Your Side Business

Script Bank – What to Say to Naysayers

When emotions run high, it helps to have simple, ready-made phrases you can lean on. Use these short responses when dealing with negative people and unsupportive friends or family.

Clarifying Scripts

• “What is the purpose of your comment?”
• “By telling me that, what are you hoping I’ll do differently?”
• “Are you saying this to support my efforts, or to suggest I shouldn’t pursue this goal?”

Boundary-Setting Scripts

• “I appreciate your concern, but I’ve decided this is important to me.”
• “I’ve done my homework, and I’m willing to take responsibility for this decision.”
• “We may not agree, and that’s okay. I’m still committed to this goal.”

Confidence-Building Scripts (for Yourself)

• “Their fear does not have to become my fear.”
• “I’m allowed to grow beyond what others expect of me.”
• “I will listen to wise counsel, not to limiting beliefs.”

Review these phrases often. The more you practice them, the easier it becomes to deal with naysayers and stay grounded in your vision.

Quick Reflection – Who Earns the Right to Hear Your Goals?

In the previous chapter, you explored when to share your goals and when to keep them private. Here’s a quick reflection to reinforce that lesson and help you apply it to dealing with naysayers.

Mini Worksheet

Take a moment to think about the people in your life and ask:

• Who consistently supports my growth and celebrates my wins?”
• “Who often responds with doubt, criticism, or sarcasm when I share good news?”
• “Who has earned the right to hear my next big goal?”
• “Who may need to see my progress before they hear my plans?”

Write down one name in each category. Moving forward, choose to share your most important goals first with those who are truly in your corner. This is not about cutting everyone else off. It’s about being a wise steward of your energy, time, and dreams.

"The goal we hold in our mind is the model which shapes our lives, and its character is reflected in everything we do."

- Orison Swett Marden

Success Lesson #20 – Protecting Your Energy from Vitality Sappers

Naysayers aren’t the only threat to your success. There are also “vitality sappers” - habits, environments, and even relationships that slowly drain your energy and focus.

Habits That Drain Your Drive

Vitality sappers can show up as:

• Working too many hours without rest
• Not getting enough sleep
• Poor nutrition or lack of exercise
• Constant digital distractions and social media noise

These may not seem directly related to your goals, but over time they weaken your ability to stay motivated, handle criticism, and follow through on your action plan.

People Who Drain Your Energy

Some people regularly leave you feeling:

• Exhausted
• Doubtful
• Smaller than you really are

When you’re dealing with naysayers to your goals, notice how you feel after spending time with them. Do you feel inspired and challenged in a good way, or discouraged and stuck?

Self leadership means taking responsibility for who gets access to your time, attention, and emotions. Sometimes the most powerful action you can take is to reduce the amount of influence that negative people have in your daily life.

A Simple Next Action

Today, choose one vitality sapper to address:

• Set a boundary with one naysayer (e.g., share less, or change the subject when they criticize).
• Go to bed 30 minutes earlier.
• Take a short walk to clear your head and refocus on your priorities.

Small, consistent steps like these make it much easier to stay strong in the face of doubt and keep moving toward your goals.