Overcoming Fear of Failure for Goal Setting Success

Quick Summary: Fear of Failure at a Glance

Fear of failure is the belief that falling short says something bad about you – especially as a leader or business owner. You’ll find a fuller definition just below in ‘What Is Fear of Failure in Goal Setting?'

In this section of the Goal Setting for Success course, you’ll discover a simple, practical way to start overcoming fear of failure in goal setting so you can act with more confidence and follow through on what matters most.

What fear of failure looks like in real life:

• You procrastinate on important goals you genuinely care about.
• You set “safe,” smaller goals so you never have to risk stretching yourself.
• You tell yourself “I’m not ready yet” over and over again.
• You avoid tough conversations or decisions that could help you grow.
• You quietly lower your expectations so you don’t have to face possible disappointment.

Quick start: today’s 3‑step action plan

• Step 1 – Name one goal you’ve been avoiding. Write down one meaningful goal you’ve delayed because of fear of failure in your career, business, or personal life.
• Step 2 – Write your worst‑case story. In one or two sentences, describe what you’re most afraid will happen if you pursue this goal and fall short.
• Step 3 – Take one tiny step in the next 24 hours. Choose a small, specific action you can take today – a call to make, an email to send, a conversation to start, or a first draft to write.

As you read the rest of this chapter, you’ll build on this quick start. You’ll learn a proven process to overcome fear of failure as a leader, reset your thinking, and create a personal performance action plan you can use again and again.

Jump To:  What Is Fear of Failure in Goal Setting | Self-Check for Leaders | Is Your Fear of Failure Normal? | What Fear of Failure Keeps You Stuck | Plan to Overcome Fear of Failure | Leave It! Perceive It! Believe It! in Action | Success Plan |Design Your Action Plan | FAQ | Download eBook

What Is Fear of Failure in Goal Setting?

Fear of failure is the belief that if you try and fall short, it will prove you’re not good enough - as a leader, business owner, or person. This fear can become so strong that you don’t fully commit to your goals, or you avoid them altogether.

In personal goal setting, fear of failure often shows up as delays, smaller goals, and avoiding situations where you might be judged. In the Self-Check below, you’ll see exactly how it’s been showing up for you – and where you’re ready to start leading yourself more courageously.

Overcoming fear of failure is essential for any leader who wants to set meaningful goals and actually follow through. 

Fear of Failure Self-Check for Leaders

Fear of failure can be tricky to spot in yourself because it often hides behind ‘reasonable’ excuses and day-to-day reasons that sound perfectly logical in the moment.

This quick self-check is designed for leaders, managers, and driven solopreneurs who want honest feedback from themselves. In just a few questions, you’ll see where fear of failure may be quietly steering your choices – and where you’re ready to start leading yourself more courageously.

As you go through the questions, answer with your current behavior in mind, not how you wish you were acting. There are no right or wrong answers – only useful information that will help you use the performance action plan more effectively.

Fear of Failure Self-Check (Yes/No)

For each statement, answer “Yes” or “No” based on how often it’s true for you in the last 30–60 days.

• I often delay or avoid taking the first step on an important goal, even when I know exactly what I need to do.
• I choose “safe” goals or easy targets more often than goals that would truly stretch my skills or grow my business.
• I frequently tell myself “I’m not ready yet” or “I just need to do a little more research” when it’s time to act.
• I worry more about how I will look if I fail than about what I might learn or gain if I succeed.
• I downplay or hide goals that matter to me so I won’t be embarrassed if they don’t work out.
• I spend a lot of time imagining worst‑case scenarios instead of planning small, specific actions I can take this week.
• After a setback, I tend to pull back, lower my expectations, or quietly abandon the goal instead of adjusting my plan and trying again.

How to Use Your Answers

Take a moment to count how many times you answered “Yes.”

• 0–2 Yes answers: Fear of failure shows up for you, but it may not be running the show. You’ll still benefit from the performance action plan, especially for bigger, more visible goals.
• 3–5 Yes answers: Fear of failure is regularly influencing your choices. The 5‑step process in this chapter will help you reset how you think about risk and design safer, smaller actions that keep you moving forward.
• 6–7 Yes answers: Fear of failure is likely a major brake on your performance right now. Work through the rest of this chapter slowly, using the examples and exercises to design a personal action plan you can revisit each week.

You don’t need to fix everything at once. Use your self‑check results to choose one important goal where you’ll apply the performance action plan. As you practice, you’ll build evidence that you can take action even when you feel afraid – and that’s how real confidence grows over time.

Is Your Fear of Failure Normal or Holding You Back?

Fear of failure is a normal human response. Any time something matters to you – a promotion, a new business, a big project - your brain will naturally scan for risk. That’s part of what keeps you safe.

However, fear of failure can become a problem when it:

• Shows up most days, not just before big moments
• Starts to control what goals you choose
• Leads you to shrink your life and avoid opportunities you actually want

In simple psychology terms, fear of failure sits at the intersection of three things: how you think, how you feel, and what you do.

• In your thinking, it often shows up as harsh self‑criticism (“If I fail, I’m a fraud”), perfectionism (“If it’s not perfect, it doesn’t count”), or black‑and‑white beliefs (“If this doesn’t work, I’m done”).
• In your emotions, it can feel like anxiety, dread, shame, or a constant sense of pressure.
• In your actions, it can look like procrastination, over‑preparing, or quietly lowering your goals so you never have to risk missing them.

When this fear becomes very intense and long‑lasting, some people may experience what psychologists sometimes call “atychiphobia” – a strong, persistent fear of failure that can affect daily life, health, and relationships.

This chapter is not meant to diagnose any condition and does not replace professional help. But it can help you notice when your fear of failure is starting to cross the line from “normal leadership nerves” into something that deserves more support.

Signs Your Fear of Failure May Be More Than “Normal”

Consider talking with a qualified professional if you notice several of these are true for you, most of the time:

• You regularly lose sleep, have frequent headaches, or feel tension in your body when you think about work, goals, or performance.
• You avoid important tasks, conversations, or opportunities for weeks or months, even when you know they are necessary for your role, business, or life.
• You feel intense shame or worthlessness when you make a mistake, far beyond simple disappointment or frustration.
• You often feel “frozen” – unable to decide or act – because you’re so focused on what could go wrong.
• You’ve started to pull away from people, hobbies, or responsibilities that used to matter to you.
• The fear and stress around performance are affecting your mood, your relationships, or your physical health.

If reading this list leaves you thinking, “That’s me more often than not,” you’re not alone – and you don’t have to handle it all by yourself.

When to Consider Getting Outside Support

Strong, capable leaders sometimes need outside support. Reaching out is a sign of responsibility, not weakness.

You might consider talking with:

• A licensed mental health professional (such as a counselor, therapist, or psychologist) if fear, anxiety, or low mood are making it hard to function day‑to‑day or enjoy your life.
• Your doctor or other medical professional if you’re noticing ongoing physical symptoms (like sleep problems, frequent headaches, or constant tension) connected to stress or fear of failure.
• A qualified coach or mentor if your main struggle is applying what you know – taking action on your goals, making decisions, or following through as a leader.

You can absolutely use the tools in this chapter – the Self‑Check, Fear of Failure Reset, and Leave It, Perceive It, Believe It method – alongside professional support. In fact, many leaders find that combining practical self‑leadership tools with outside help creates the fastest, most sustainable change.

Remember: needing help doesn’t mean you’re failing as a leader. It means you are taking your growth, your health, and your responsibilities seriously – which is exactly what strong leaders do.

Why Fear of Failure Keeps Leaders Stuck on Their Goals

As a leader or future leader, others are watching you. That can make the fear of failing feel even bigger.

You might worry:

• “If I fail, they’ll lose respect for me.”
• “If this doesn’t work, I’ll prove the critics right.”
• “If I fall short, I’ll let my family or team down.”

These thoughts don’t just slow you down; they shape the goals you set, the risks you take, and the actions you choose.

When fear of failure is in charge, you are far more likely to:

• Stay in your comfort zone instead of growing
• Avoid new responsibilities or opportunities
• Stick with what’s familiar, even if it’s not working
• Make excuses rather than decisions

But here’s the truth: every successful leader you admire has failed — often more than once. The difference is that they learned how to overcome fear of failure and keep taking action anyway. That’s what this chapter will help you do.

A Simple Plan to Overcome Fear of Failure in Goal Setting

Overcoming fear of failure doesn’t require magic or perfection. It requires awareness, honesty, and a simple, repeatable plan you can use anytime fear starts to take over your thinking.

This chapter gives you two powerful tools:

1. Three questions that help you take back control from fear.
2. A repeatable process called “Leave It, Perceive It, Believe It” that helps you change your story and move forward.

Use these tools with any goal you set - in your career, your business, your health, your finances, or your personal life.

Three Questions to Take Back Control

To take back control from fear of failure and minimize its negative impact on the quality of your life, ask yourself three important questions whenever you feel stuck:

1.  What is it that I am truly afraid of? Be specific. Are you afraid of looking foolish? Losing money? Disappointing someone? Being judged? Write it down.
2.  How likely is that worst‑case scenario to really happen? On a scale of 1–10, how realistic is your fear? What facts support it – and what facts contradict it?
3.  Even if the worst happened, what could I learn or gain from it? How might this experience make you stronger, wiser, or more capable as a leader?

These three questions help you shine a light on fear. Instead of letting anxiety swirl in your head, you examine it. Once you can see it clearly, you can create a plan to move through it.

Fear of Failure Reset – A 5‑Step Mini Process

The Fear of Failure Reset is a short, 5-step mini process you can use any time you notice fear beginning to slow you down.

Instead of trying to “be fearless,” this process helps you acknowledge what you’re feeling, shift how you’re thinking, and then choose a small, meaningful action you can take right now. You don’t need an hour of free time or a perfect plan – you just need a few focused minutes and a willingness to be honest with yourself.

As you work through this reset, you’ll give your mind something better to focus on than worst‑case scenarios. You’ll move from vague worry (“What if I fail?”) to clear awareness (“Here’s what I’m actually afraid of”), and then to a practical response (“Here’s one small step I can take today”).

Over time, using this mini process trains you to respond to fear of failure with clarity and purpose instead of avoidance and self‑doubt. In the 5 simple steps that follow, you’ll learn exactly how to walk yourself through this Fear of Failure Reset whenever you feel stuck. 

1. Name the fear

Take one goal you’ve been avoiding. Write down exactly what you’re afraid will happen if you fail at this goal.

2. Challenge your perception

Ask yourself: “Is this really true?” and “What else could be true?” Look for evidence that your fear may be exaggerated or incomplete.

3. Choose a better belief

Replace your worst‑case story with a more hopeful, realistic one. For example:

• Instead of: “If I fail, I’ll prove I’m not a good leader.”
• Try: “If I fail, I’ll learn what doesn’t work and become a stronger leader.”

4. Take a tiny step forward

Based on your new belief, choose one small action you will take this week. Make it specific and doable – a phone call, an email, a conversation, or a first draft.

5. Review the result

After you take that action, notice what actually happened. Did your worst fear come true? What did you learn? How did you grow? Adjust your plan and repeat.

This simple process shows you how to overcome fear of failure in real time. You’re not waiting to feel brave; you’re acting your way into confidence, one small step at a time.

Put “Leave It, Perceive It, Believe It” Into Practice

To make overcoming fear of failure even more practical, use this three‑part method: Leave It, Perceive It, Believe It.

Anytime you feel fear of failing at your goals, walk yourself through these three steps.

Leave It – Choose to Release the Old Fear

First, make a conscious decision to leave your old fear‑based story behind.

You might say to yourself:
“I’m choosing to leave behind the belief that if I fail once, it means I’m a failure. I will no longer let this belief dictate my future.”

Every time you set a new goal and feel fear of failure rising, pause and decide what you are going to “leave.”

Are you leaving:

• The belief that you’re not good enough?
• The belief that mistakes are permanent?
• The belief that others will never forgive you for trying and failing?

Write it down so you can see exactly what you are letting go.

Perceive It – See Your Situation Clearly

Next, choose to perceive your situation more accurately. Fear tends to magnify risks and minimize your strengths.

Ask yourself:

• What is actually true about my situation?
• What strengths, experiences, and resources do I already have?
• What have I handled successfully in the past that is similar to this?

For example, you can tell yourself:

“I choose to see this goal the way it really is. Yes, there is risk. But I’ve solved tough problems before. I have people who support me. I can handle whatever happens.”

By changing your perception, you reduce the power of fear and open the door to better options.

Believe It – Practice a New Story

Finally, choose a new belief that will support your goals instead of sabotaging them. This is how you build the confidence to stop letting fear of failure hold you back.

Examples of powerful beliefs:

• “Every attempt makes me stronger, whether I succeed or fail.”
• “Leaders grow through experience, not by avoiding risk.”
• “I can handle setbacks, learn, and try again.”

Repeat your new belief daily, especially before you take action on your goals. Over time, this new belief will begin to feel more natural than your old fear‑based story.

Mini Worksheet – Leave It, Perceive It, Believe It

Take a few minutes to complete this simple exercise for one current fear:

• Leave It: “The old fear I’m leaving behind is…”
• Perceive It: “The new, more accurate way I choose to see this is…”
• Believe It: “The belief I will practice every day for the next 7 days is…”

Keep this where you can see it. Read it before you work on your goal. You’re creating your own personal action plan for overcoming fear of failure.

"The ability to convert ideas to things is the secret to outward success."

- Henry Ward Beecher

Success Lesson #11 – Stop Camouflaging Your Fear of Failure

In leadership and goal setting, fear of failure rarely walks up and introduces itself. Instead, it hides. It wears camouflage. It pretends to be something else.

You may say things like:

• “I’m just too busy right now.”
• “I need more information before I start.”
• “The timing isn’t quite right.”

Underneath, it’s often simple: you are afraid of failing. You are afraid of looking foolish, disappointing someone, or confirming your own doubts.

Success Lesson #11 invites you to stop camouflaging your fears and start calling them what they are. When you see fear clearly, you can choose a new response.

How We Camouflage Fear of Failure

Consider how easy it is to hide behind:

• Endless planning instead of action
• Over‑researching every tiny detail
• Blaming circumstances or other people
• Telling yourself “someday” instead of setting a date

These behaviors don’t look like fear at first glance. They look responsible, thoughtful, or cautious. But if you look deeper, you may discover they are simply disguises for fear of failure.

As a leader, you cannot afford to let camouflaged fear quietly run your life. Your team, your business, and your future depend on your willingness to face fear honestly.

A Real‑World Leadership Example

Imagine a new manager who needs to address poor performance with a team member.

On the surface, the manager says:

• “I’m waiting for the right time.”
• “I need to collect a bit more data.”

Weeks go by. The conversation never happens. The team member continues to underperform. The rest of the team notices. Morale drops.

What’s really going on?

• The manager is afraid of failing in that conversation.
• Afraid of making things worse.
• Afraid of being seen as weak or unfair.

The real issue is fear of failure, camouflaged as busyness and preparation.

Once the manager admits, “I am afraid of doing this badly,” they can use the tools in this chapter:

• Use the three questions to clarify what you’re really afraid of.
•  Walk through the 5‑step Fear of Failure Reset.
• Update your Leave It, Perceive It, Believe It worksheet for this situation.

This is how you overcome fear of failure in real leadership situations.

Reflection Exercise – Where Are You Hiding?

Take a moment to ask yourself:

• Where have I been saying “I’m too busy” instead of admitting I’m afraid?
• What important goal have I put off because I don’t want to risk failing?
• What conversation, project, or decision have I been camouflaging with excuses?

Choose one area where you’ve been hiding. Write down:

• The goal you’ve been avoiding.
• The fear you’ve been camouflaging.
• One tiny step you will take this week to move forward.

You have just taken another step toward overcoming fear of failure and becoming the kind of leader you’re meant to be.

Design Your Personal Action Plan to Overcome Fear of Failure

Now that you understand how fear of failure works - and how you sometimes hide it - it’s time to design a simple personal action plan to move through it.

This is not a formal workplace “performance improvement plan.” It’s your own performance action plan for your life and goals, focused on growth, not punishment.

Clarify One Goal You’ve Been Holding Back On

Start by choosing one meaningful goal you’ve been delaying or avoiding. It might be:

• Launching a new product or service
• Starting a side business
• Applying for a promotion
• Having a difficult but necessary conversation
• Improving your health or finances

Write it down clearly. The clearer the goal, the easier it will be to see where fear of failure has been holding you back.

Use the Questions and Process

Next, walk through the tools you’ve learned in this chapter at least once a week for the next month:”

• “Answer the three questions about your fear.”
• “Use the 5‑step Fear of Failure Reset.”
• “Complete or update your Leave It, Perceive It, Believe It worksheet.

By the time you’re finished, you’ll have:

• Named the specific fear that has been blocking you.
• Challenged your old, limiting story.
• Chosen a new, empowering belief.
• Identified at least one concrete next step you’ll take soon (ideally within the next day or two).

That is your personal action plan to overcome fear of failure for this goal.

Commit to Consistent Action

Finally, commit to taking small, consistent actions in spite of your fear. Confidence is not the absence of fear; it’s the decision to move forward even when fear is present.

Ask yourself each day:

• “What is one small action I can take today that aligns with my new belief?”

Then take that action. Track your progress. Celebrate each step. You are training yourself to respond differently to fear - and that is one of the most powerful leadership skills you can develop.

Frequently Asked Questions About Overcoming Fear of Failure

What is fear of failure in goal setting?

Fear of failure in goal setting is the belief that if you try and don’t succeed, it means you’re not capable or worthy. This belief keeps many leaders and solopreneurs from setting bold goals or following through. In this chapter, you’ve learned how to recognize that fear, question it, and create a simple plan to move beyond it.

How can I stop letting fear of failure hold me back from my goals?

You stop letting fear of failure hold you back by:

• Naming your specific fears instead of avoiding them
• Questioning your worst‑case stories with facts and experience
• Choosing more helpful beliefs about mistakes and growth
• Taking small, consistent actions even when you still feel nervous

For a practical walkthrough, start with ‘Three Questions to Take Back Control’ and the ‘Fear of Failure Reset,’ then apply the Leave It, Perceive It, Believe It method to one current goal.